What Will It Be When When I Love & Approve Of Myself?

Picture By Jemma Loie Hatt

Growing up in England, I was never taught much about self-love, and self-respect, other than, it was big-headed, stubborn, and wrong. My cousins were scolded for not sharing, and if I forgot to say please, and thank you, I was shamed, and told I was rude. Mostly by old, old, old, people from way back in the past, who held some sort of authority over me because of age, and family rankings.

My most recent anxiety spell caused me to review these limitations about myself, and I was given a new  script, fresh from the tree. I have been tapping on it for a little over a week, and its title has inspired this blog post.

I will now gift you another blog post, and excerpt of my own I Will stories, based on the I Will Method by my friend Tammy. You can download the free PDF of the exercise I work from .

I will release those memories, and limitations. I will leave them in the past, and I will explore the notion of what it will be when I will love, and approve of myself.

When I love, and approve of myself, instead of beating myself up when I haven’t gotten this or that done, I will feel at ease with what I have done, and treat myself with compassion.

I will not mind as much that it takes me until midday to pluck up the courage to get out of bed when I have no plans. I will not feel forced by the need to comply with a time schedule that does not align with my body clock.

I will get out of bed because I will have given myself the gift of feeling happy in the now, and I will know what it feels like to throw caution to the wind, seize the day, and embrace life. I will get out out of bed, and my life will appear.

I will compare myself to none other than myself because I will be aware that happiness, and self-worth comes from within me, not outside of me.

What I did in my past will not matter, because what was, was. It will not matter that I fell, but that I got up and kept going. It will not matter where I am, who I am with, or what I will be doing. It will not matter how far I have come but that I arrived safely in the here and now.

It will not matter what other people think, or say to me, or about me because this is a reflection of how they see themselves.

I will have more things to be grateful for, and anything that I want that I don’t have, is a matter of applying the I will method.

I will not be jealous but  I will be thankful for the contrast that expands my desire for more.

I will not rush, I will make the time to be who I will be, do what I will do, and have what I will have.

I will lovingly take care of the space, I occupy, and the people I interact with, because I live, and love the now, for my benefit, and for others.

I will lovingly script my future, and I will imagine good, and only good, from now on.

Revelations With The Power Of I Will Affirmations

I have amazing friends. I have been aware of this for awhile, but everyday, feel ever more appreciative for those who lift me, enlighten me, and support me, through actions, gestures, and words of love, without expecting me to be anything but myself.

I am writing to update you on my manifestation journey. EFT wizard,  has decided to gift those wishing to be more deliberate in manifesting money by changing their beliefs, with one last month of Money Magnet Mindset before the year is out. You can find out more about this .

One of my afore-mentioned amazing friends who I manifested through joining the Facebook group Brad created for MMM, let me in on her amazing secret of the  and the .

I now swear by the I Will method, and I am so happy to have found my friend, and share her work here. She has let me test out a script entitled ‘being happy has nothing to do with others’, and well, the thoughts that came up whilst tapping is the stuff blog-post dreams are made of.

Near on everyday since money magnet mindset started in march – give or take one or two days for sickness – I have tapped, and it has brought out many a revelation. And yesterday I realized why I seek approval from others.

As a child I would often hear adults around me talk to, and about each other unkindly, and in an unloving way. Even when the person was in front of them they would do this, telling them how nice they look, or congratulating them but then without fail, mentioning their faults, and everything they had done wrong in the past.

I believe this was an effort in constructive criticism, when more so it was to make that person feel better about their own faults by projection.

This is why I struggle with social anxiety when speaking to some family members or even so-called friends, and why I would have rather avoided them because I anticipated the bad, and the show of false love.

It has taken me a lot of tapping to realize when someone likes me for me, and when they say they love me,  and thank me, they mean it.

For me now, it’s not an effort to believe I am worthy of receiving money for sharing my gifts and talents because I believe with the discovery of I Will method,  that I can, and I will. Learn why to say I WILL, .

Now my focus is believing I will manifest true love, true friendship, and true support. 

I will release that which is not wanted in my life. I will invite drama-less, love-filled good abundance in all areas of my life.

I Thank my friend for teaching me this cool phrase:

 מה שהיה – היה

Pronounced; MA SHEHAYA – HAYA; It means, What was – was!

And to be even more specific, although I appreciate the true love I get in a platonic way, I mean’t true ROMANTIC love, just because I know the universe is listening in!

I do love to love, and be loved. It gives me a basis on which to model the life I envision with my future wife. My NEAR future wife. I LOVE scripting my future.

My deepest gratitude for reading me.

You can buy the script I used for $1 .


It’s My Party & I’ll Do What I Want To: You Would Do Too, If You Practiced LOA Too

The time of lackful thinking is over.

I discovered that I create my own reality, and proved it.

The evidence? Is in how I feel. I became deliberate. Instead of feeling defeated as usual, last year I promised myself this birthday would be even better. I decided, I was tired of going along with the idea of getting ‘older’ (I’m about to be 31 for goodness sake)

I am letting go of the need to compare the pace, direction,and appearance of my life to others who ‘get more done’, ‘look like that’, and who were doing that thing I wanted to do, being that person I wanted to be, and having that life I wanted to have. I decided I was going to reject the calendar year, and start my new year from my birthday.

So, this my 31st year WILL be awesome, I WILL  do amazing things, and I WILL have the life I dream of.

And it’s not even my actual birth DAY yet and it has already been awesome.

How did I get what I wanted? I am not as cocky as this post would have you believe. It’s all about communication, and knowing what you really want. I let go of the unworthiness I suffered with, I let go of the ‘It’s not going to happen for me’ feeling. I cleared a lot of resistance with EFT – Emotional freedom tapping, to the videos by  on YouTube, and more recently, the tapping scripts from the  by my friend Tammy.

As a result I have had truly the happiest birthday weekend since my childhood, and the most amazing journey towards it, where I have completely changed my outlook on life. I was so very thankful that I spammed my Facebook wall, Twitter Feed, and Instagram page with thank you’s and gratitude post’s. This morning I tapped to the ‘I will; be, do, have’ script, and felt happy, high, and confident.

Birthday is tomorrow, and I feel like a kid.

My Deepest Gratitude.

The Racists On The Bus Go Round & Round: Or, How I How I Hold On To My Cool With EFT

Today I talk about my daily routine of EFT and Meditation, and how I feel about it, how these things relate to being a money magnet, thanking a couple of mentors who have helped me along the way, and keep a positive feel. This post does contain brief references made by bigots on my bus journey home today, and how I kept my cool.

I feel peace when I awake up in the the mornings now. Last night I was reading ‘I can see clearly now’ by the late, great Dr. Wayne Dyer. Every line I read resonated with me in some way, I found answers, and I found myself reflecting on my own childhood, and having that deep sense of knowing about what my future would be like, only breaking from that image when becoming too easily swayed by ‘Group-think’. Near on every morning for the past couple of weeks I awoke with a feeling of gratitude and appreciation, because of my commitment to Tapping and Meditation.

I tapped all day today. I am still taking breaks in the writing of this blog to do EFT. I had the perfect, relaxing morning. I tapped to my tapping script, ‘Something Amazingly Awesome Will Happen To Me Today’ written by the creator of  a site where you can find tapping scripts and information on a new EFT technique called Echo Tapping.

Monday the 7th was the start of another month of Money Magnet Mindset for myself, and members of the Facebook group created by YouTube sensation, Brad Yates of  and . I was eager to pick up where I left off, though I have been tapping near on every day after the last class finished in May. The miracles just keep on coming. Miracles like discovering, and being in the most supportive group on Facebook.

We have new people, and we are all finding more and more things to tap on, and clear, and post our results daily, of accountability and gratitude.

I have experienced the joy of discovering like minded souls to talk with about my tapping journey. All with the safety of being supported in a judgement-free-zone. I don’t know anyone personally who taps, or believes in the meta-physical, or loves, and absorbs Abraham-Hicks teachings in my non-cyber-space social circle, and this group has been a true blessing.

A couple of weeks ago I was ill with a chest infection which had me coughing for about four weeks. I slept through a lot of it, and now my waking routine has been affected.

Arguably, I have never been one of those people you can set your watch to. But having the chest infection reminded me of long British winters, depression,  and seasonal affective disorder.

So I looked up articles on-line to help me re-establish a sleep-wake-get-up routine. After noticing that I had tried a lot of them before I found a suggestion on wiki.how to get excited about having a morning wake up time, and to jump out of bed smiling. I also remembered seeing an instructional video on Facebook, to make your own LED light-board.

I came up with the inspirational phrase ‘Jump! (Out Of Bed) & Your Life Will Appear’, because I have been reading the similarly titled book by Nancy Levin, and it’s writing exercises are amazingly freeing. I was fully invested, I felt inspired, so I found a canvas for 99p in my local shop, and bought some LED lights from eBay.

I thought about doing a every morning as well, as I once read in a  that if you only have time to do one yoga pose, do a headstand as it fights off lethargy, feelings of depression, and kick-start’s all those happy hormones. I usually feel energized and euphoric after doing so, and was eager to incorporate this practice known Shirshasana, the King of Yoga poses.

This afternoon I went out to buy glow-the-dark paint because the lettering on the light-board was not showing up as well as I’d hoped. The bus journey was smooth, and I enjoyed wandering around awhile in the shop, with a calm sense of purpose. I asked two people in different sections if they stocked what I needed. I was met with bafflement and an answer of no, they used to stock it, and a suggestion to look in another shop. I didn’t find glow in the dark paint but I found some iridescent white acrylic that I thought might stand out a little better against the brightness of the lights. (I just took a break, and tried, and it looks beautiful!)

I also felt abundant enough to by an early birthday gift for my friend, as I have balanced my account in recent months, and maintained this by becoming aware of my spending, saving, and values with help of Brad’s program.

I then got on the bus home, and by the time it rolled in to my home town, about four of five people had boarded got on the bus and I could hear them over my music. And then, my iPod ran out of power…


I wasn’t listening to them, at first: I was tapping on my collar bone with my earphones still in, as if I was tapping along to a song, but no one paid any mind to what I was doing.

An old man was talking loudly,  jovially about the old times, and how the landscape has changed since his childhood. Then he mentioned about a Mosque being built where once a Squillion years ago a primary school had stood. And I thought ,’Oh, here we go’, and I felt a tightness that went from my stomach region to my chest. It was amazing, they all joined in, echoing what is currently being talked about on the news.

I don’t enjoy, so therefore I don’t watch the news, as I get too emotional; the only time I am made aware of the news is on my Facebook and Twitter feed.

‘This isn’t England any more’, One man asserted. Which made zero sense to me, but  he went on to tell his listeners about his son wearing a shirt with the Union Jack on it, and him being told to take it off; that his ‘poor son’ is one of only four children in his class who is English. Now this I know is a very controversial subject, but I highly doubt any single person, white or otherwise living in England is truly English any more. Were we not invaded by the Romans, and the Vikings? I hope his son is more open to change than he is.

Anyhow, they carried on spouting this and that prejudice, and I carried on tapping. I was so shocked though, when the woman next to me said she felt so alienated that she wished she could go ‘some place somewhere where everyone is purely English.’ I was actually embarrassed for, and by her.

But then I stopped listening, because really, I have heard this all before, and that entire conversation, and belief is just their perception, I didn’t want to give it any more of my attention.

I relaxed, (still tapping at this point) and a smile crept across my face as in my head, I started singing… ‘The Racists on the bus, go round, and round…’ (Like the song, The Wheels On The Bus) And I dropped the issue. I remembered that just because something is made true for one person, or a group of people, does not make it true for me. I remembered being in a primary school having the joy of close childhood friendship with children of many different backgrounds. I don’t feel threatened at all by multi-culturalism and I love diversity, where I grew up, where I still live today, and my life’s journey. And that’s what I choose to focus on, what I love about life.

I can let go of that wound-up-tight feeling in my stomach and chest, when I associate racism with all other bigotry, such as homophobia, and sexism, ableism, and those who contribute to the stigma attached to mental health. I believe its all resistance to our greatest good.

I may not like it but I know that paying attention to these things makes me stressed, and judgemental myself, which is the entire point of me stopping watching the news. I know that if I pay attention to stuff I don’t like, I become a mirror image of those who make a lifestyle of judgement and playing the victim.

Paying attention to ‘what is’ – is a perception, and a self-imposed condition that can be changed. I know this because I have experienced and implemented the power of Emotional Freedom Technique, and Meditation. I have made a commitment to it and seen awesome results. Sometimes I use a combination of the two. And has anyone ever tried Super Brain Yoga? Wow!

I am grateful to characters I would have found too challenging to tolerate, and though I get annoyed by them a couple of times a day, at least I am not dwelling on it, and that feels good. I know I attracted the experience, and that these people played a part in my expansion.

Thank you Brad, and Thank you Tammy for your classes, scripts, help, and support in helping people to help others. After paying for, and acquiring the recordings for  this months, and previous Money Magnet Mindset tele-classes, I maintain that I am a different person. I feel better about money, (though I still haven’t started my job, thanks to a delayed DBS check… something better on the way?)

I am writing more, and generally being more creative. My upkeep of my 365 Happy Days challenge has seen my Instagram (Follow me @vibe_feeler) account gain in followers, and my feed is looking more, and more like a budding art account, which I have always wanted it to be, and I know I can quite literally tap in to confidence, and inspiration. And I am learning to be happier for the highest good of myself and others.

My deepest gratitude, and appreciation to all I meet on my journey.


My Current Condition Of Uncertainty Is Only Temporary

Hello again, it has been awhile.

I have been meditating, focusing and clearing that which is unwanted. I would love to hear how your journey is progressing?

I have been experiencing some hiccups on the road to employment; expecting information about training, pay, and start dates; whilst at the same time expecting there to be delays and reasons for it not coming easily for me. That’s not how it works though, is it? I have to laugh, so why not at myself?

I have been a creator of rocky roads for a long time, and in my want to change that, I have allowed myself to absorb the teachings that I have sought out and paid for.

I accept myself for my patterns of fear and misgivings about the stuff that hasn’t come yet.

I am letting go in the way I have become accustomed, by writing statements to get clear, and listening to Abraham Hicks, but by far, tapping scripts are a quick and efficient method for me.

 has confirmed  is back on as of September 7th so sign up if interested! This is a 30 day program to clear old beliefs enhance your prosperity mindset. There are daily exercises, as well as weekly teleclasses to support your abundance consciousness. You can start today.

Brad has decided to go back to the original “pay what you can” formula. Please spread the word. I am looking forward to it immensely. What I learned about myself during the three months of MMM was priceless, and I am a different person today entirely.

The Facebook group that was born of the MMM tele-seminar is still going strong. We are all experiencing success in many ways; from getting jobs, new clients, moving house, travelling, and having better relationships; to encouraging each other to name one thing we have to be grateful for each day, to starting up websites, like my own blog, and that of my fellow MMM tapper whose Echo Tapping technique helped me to get and write this blog post today, and for that I am deeply grateful. To learn more about Echo-Tapping, Click on  .

Meanwhile, I am choosing to stay generally focused on my dreams of success, and allowing myself to believe that my desired future is as inevitable as I allow. The job I have attracted is good platform to learn, I appreciate the ease in which it came to me, and though I don’t know if it is the career I want, that doesn’t matter. I see this as an opportunity to learn and appreciate new experiences in my life.

I am choosing to release any fear of things getting in the way of progress, or blame of myself or others for lack of it, and allow safe, quick delivery of information about the training next week, (And would you know it after starting this post this morning, I got the information I needed. Life is so much easier when you ignore what’s not wanted).

I am choosing to let go and allow all those involved to deliver the information I expect, or better, for the highest good of all. Whether this career path or another, this expected outcome, or better.

In the past, I didn’t get what I want, but with this openness to change, I know all will turn out for my highest good, in perfect timing.

My current condition of not knowing is temporary. I cannot know what I haven’t yet done. I cannot act on information that I haven’t yet received. And this is okay. The larger part of me has it all worked out anyway.

“Everything is always working out for me”, has become my mantra, and because of this, all is well, and I am safe to just be.

I’ve done the work, I am in balance, I need not effort over what I cannot control. I am happily in the receptive mode.

Here’s to clearing clutter for more clarity, and more, for all this or better.

My deepest gratitude for your time.


If I Could Have Anything Right Now, And I Can…

I have been listening to the teachings of Abraham-Hicks, and Tapping with Brad, ignoring news stories as best I can, and keeping up with my self-imposed challenge of not watching the TV, which is distracting, and lets face it there is nothing worth watching anyway that you cannot nowadays stream or download.

I have become aware of my thoughts, and my beliefs are being constantly reviewed and fine-tuned, and most deliciously, I am realising wear I am is not a threat to my future vision. I am seeing great results concerning my expansion, and I feel inspired to action, and more and more, finding peace with where I am.

And when I don’t feel that peace I know I can find my way to it. I feel inspired, I feel divinely guided, backed up, supported, and loved.

Nothing is more delicious than the realisation of being able to realign with that which I really want. That I am not stuck, only momentarily doubtful. And doubt is fear, and fear is resistance, and when I look at my programming, resistance is understandable, and changeable.

Whatever the cause of these uncomfortable thoughts and feelings I know I can change them because they are a thought that I kept thinking, and a practised vibration, just a pattern I am familiar with. And throughout life we all are always creating and changing, and redesigning patterns: consciously or unconsciously we are all creating our life experience.

However scary my thoughts about some issue or circumstance gets I know it’s merely a hiccup, and I can find better thoughts. And every time I recognise the pattern, know what is necessary, and that is focusing on things that make me happy, and that is necessary for the manifestation of all things; jobs, interviews, ideas, stories, blog posts, love, money, and adventure.

I choose to get happy first. I am practising that more and more. And its exciting. It’s exciting because it feels like I always knew it. It feels like it’s always been there within me. It feels like I always had the answer. And it feels like I was right, and powerful, and creative all along.

And just for you nay-sayers, and doubters; positivity is a choice just as negativity is a choice. If you find yourself saying or thinking or believing, ‘I just can’t be happy all the time, no one can, and therefore anyone who says otherwise is a faker and a dreamer, and very naive’ you can change the way you think too. Can you tell I have heard it all before?

Happiness is a constant realisation of the good stuff we already have, and a willingness to clear that stuff that we no longer need. Not something that requires a lot of effort but realisation of which direction your thoughts are going. When I worked this out I became very tired of feeling bad, and very conscious of the fact that I was actually in control.

So therefore happiness is VERY doable, be-able, and have-able.

Thank you to all my teachers.

Visit https://www.tapwithbrad.com/ for an insight in to how to clear resistance and lack mentality. Stick at it, you will love yourself for it.

How Writing Has Positively Influenced My Life

I have always had a wild imagination and have wanted to write a book since I was a little girl, but the way I was taught to write in school was boring, and too rigid for my attention span. Sometimes my stories felt so large and complicated that I could not bring my ideas to life when I picked up the pen to write. It was as if the ideas up and left my head.

In my twenties I received some tips from a writer friend, and eventually I wrote an entire manuscript, after I read it back I felt some release however, the feeling of ‘what’s next’ was overwhelming. I left the idea alone as my feelings of urgency to get results took over my creative flow.

In 2013 I joined twitter and followed all my favourite creators; one who I admired tweeted a recommendation to a follower to read the book ‘Write it down and make it happen,’ by Henriette Anne Klauser. I decided to give it ago, and after reading this magical book, I began keeping a Journal. I wrote down all my goals, wants, dreams, and ideas, and as I was getting into the habit of writing every day I continued to search for ways to make me feel better.

I listened to motivational speakers, and only followed positive news stories, participated in positivity challenges, and subscribed to newsletters. I even wrote an email to my future self which I have just received, and goodness my writing has changed significantly, regardless of what has actually manifested since writing that letter.

Between the time that I found the wisdom of ‘Write It Down And Make It Happen,’ and the quest to better myself in as many ways as possible, I stumbled upon an advert for the Writers Bureau and paid for a course. But in a vain effort to learn about how I could make my way to being a paid writer fast; for I felt it had to happen fast; I was put off by all the marketing and research that was required to be a paid writer.

I needed to learn to love writing again, so I dedicated my time to my journal, and in that I found my passion. I subscribed to Positive Writer, and invested in some writing eBooks to explore what I really wanted to say. I also got really into the Notes from the Universe which I analyse every day, and write a response to the notes in my journal thanking The Universe through Mike Dooley for helping me remember who I am and what I want to achieve in life.

My anxiety around all the limiting beliefs, that I had collected over the years, was helped immensely by Emotional Freedom Technique. I started to tap regularly with Brad Yates on YouTube, which led to a tele-seminar by the name of Money Magnet Mindset which ran from March through May of this year. Brad’s motivation was to help those who wanted to develop their prosperity consciousness. Alongside the tele-seminar, Brad started an accountability group on Facebook. The people who I tap with encouraged me to start my blog.

After applying this technique, and developing the habit of talking (or tapping) down my inner critic, and writing consistently, I feel a whole lot lighter. I feel the inevitability of success in all I do, not only in my writing. Now I take notice of how I feel, and I forgive myself readily for my impatience, and anxiety. I am finding peace with where I am, and feeling eager about my future knowing it can, and will happen for me, and anyone who gives their attention to getting what they dream about.

A Mission Statement For My Future Musings

I am working on posts daily, ideas are coming in thick and fast. I am writing them all down, however, I have been blocked from my flow through not staying true to the feelings that compelled me to write in the first place, and I keep going down a negative thought path.

I am tapping on this need to go there. In doing this, I have come to realise I am still working on what I really want to say, and what I want to put out into the world, the picture of me I want to see.

I am surrounded by so many who are blocked from what they want to do by their well-told, old stories, and belief’s. My desire is to appreciate the positive things in life, and to do this, I can’t carry on writing this way. I am no longer stopping myself from writing, (Which is just fantastic, Thanks to EFT, Brad, and the accountability group.) but I am realising when I am blocking myself from creativity, when I get into an old groove and become stuck.

So wish me luck. I am in review mode, gathering momentum towards my purpose in life, and I have an abundance of material now to work from, and good support system. I am wealthy with opportunity.

Thank you for reading

I have been feeling overwhelmed, procrastinating lots, avoiding this blog, and making excuses, but I choose to see how far I’ve really come since we began Money Magnet Mindset in March.

The feelings of overwhelm, and the habit of procrastination are two of the biggest reasons that I find EFT so helpful. In the past I have argued for these limitations as if they were politicians I were voting in to office, and for a long time, I didn’t even realise I was doing it. And as I clear more of this issue, I am glad I can now see when I am sabotaging myself, and how I can change this pattern.

My lovely, but very pessimistic friends have a real good go at blocking my flow, and even tell me in no uncertain terms that optimism is the real problem, and try to convince me to settle for less, and stay stuck. Without EFT, and without the accountability group, I would not have built the integrity or the energy to say what I feel, and do as I do regardless of what others think.

I have had two conversations in the last couple of days with my loved ones that have made me see the person I am becoming, and that person is no sheep. One of those conversations was with someone who was bullied into resignation of her job by alpha-types, and the other, though I dearly love them, seems to repeat the same story so many times that I feel suspiciously like I am the character Truman from ‘The Truman Show’ and that they are rehearsing lines, and spouting slogans. (In fact this is a recurrent issue I have had since watching that movie, but that’s another blog post.) I have been discussing my frustration on not being employed, and my friends are glad to chip in, and we all get to stay in our stories. This was once one of my favourite pastimes, and is deep in my comfort zone where it’s nice and cosy. But with my commitment to change, I have been seeing this need for what it is; attachment to the past and an attempt to justify my current circumstances. So I’ve told them, in a round about way, that we aren’t reading from the same script, and we are in fact, in entirely different movies. I can see they are thinking my behaviour is strange, and not what they expect of me. This used to bother me, but nowadays I thrive on the element of surprise.

I feel that change is going to come, and to truly see the manifestation of that, I must let other people be who they are in order to be who I am. I know people hate to be told what to do, as I did when I was a broken record, not realising that we are all in a state of becoming, and no one’s path is the wrong path. In my willingness to learn this, I find peace.

If you are wondering what on earth EFT is, and or have any patterns you would love to be free of, please visit  and look up the wealth of free videos on YouTube by Brad Yates

Happy Tapping!

Healing Dream: Money Magnet Mindset

Money Magnet Dreams

As some who may have tapped with Brad well know, at the end of every call, Brad invites us to reflect, and does a guided visualization, where he suggests we may allow ourselves to have a very healing dream. The following is one of my own dreams that I had after the call before last. (The most recent call was on Monday. Please visit  for details on how to access the seminar, or go to YouTube and look up Brad Yates EFT) Please keep an open mind, this is just a dream I had.

In my dream I was touring a 3rd world country. People were filming me. I was in a Slum, everything was dry, hot, and dirty. I saw myself hand a shiny fifty pence piece to a very young boy who was smiling up at me. The coin instantly turned into a shower of dirty old pennies. I heard an old man’s voice say, “Thank you, you have made us very rich.” However, something about the transition from fifty pence piece to the pennies, made me feel deeply sad, and uncontrollable tears of despair came from me, I woke myself to a half sleeping day-dream, very distressed, and as I lay there, I reviewed my vision.

I had seen my fifty pence offering as minuscule, and therefore, unimportant. Not enough to help, and not worth anything. Though I felt I had given it willingly, the fact it had turned in to pennies made me feel I should have kept it. I felt disappointed that more hadn’t come from my donation as if I were expecting a bigger, more beneficial conversion or something. No matter how much there were, and how thankful the old man had been, I felt sad, and while I don’t really know why I felt that way,that feeling was valid, and the pain was real to me.

At first I must have seen it as changing from fifty pence to less in the new currency, and feeling sad that those in poverty live on such little money, how I view myself as having such little money, how I am holding myself back from attracting more work, and more money, and so on. But as I began to wake up properly, and I lay there in my warm comfortable bed, I realised the dream money I offered made a difference to them.

Writing this out has made me see how my beliefs are blocking me about my worth, how much I give, and about money. This was in the end, a very healing dream, though part of me was willing to stay stuck, and think how sad everything about it was. In reality, I misinterpreted my dream while I was in it. I must be changing for the better if I recognized my old pattern and was able to quickly change my perception; mustn’t I?

I tapped on how frustrating it is that I have bad dreams still, and how we offer money to a problem, and it doesn’t seem to solve anything, well not quickly anyhow. But then I connected to the gratitude I heard in the man’s voice, and how the shower of coins had just appeared. It may not be how I expect riches to look; it was how the people in my dream felt about the money. It was how I at last felt humbled by their reaction and made peace with a challenging belief.

And if a fifty pence piece can magically turn into lots of pennies, I’m getting better at my ‘….Money is imaginary, Money is energy, I am energy….’ affirmation. And that is what this journey is about.